


Soulbounded: Night In The Woods

by imincharge



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Friendship, Clexa Halloween Week 2017, F/F, One Shot, Soulmates, Werewolf Mates, and WEREWOLVES, it's more modern au with some magical things happening, it's not scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-02
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 07:05:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12601000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imincharge/pseuds/imincharge
Summary: Lexa spent the last years of her life searching for the apothecary that can cure Anya. What she finds is... something different.or: werewolf au where Lexa is scared of the truth, there's a puppy involved and a certain blonde girl that seems to appear in all strange places





	Soulbounded: Night In The Woods

"There's something different," Lexa says, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. 

She looks back, to the morning crowd braving the cold streets, to the bright red of the traffic light against the white sky and to the cars disappearing down the street. There's something different. It isn't the strong smell of coffee coming from the coffee shop across the street, nor the fresh scent of leaves from the trees along the way. It's not even the distant air coming from the mountains at the edge of the city. It's different.

Anya needs to pull the leash to stop the puppy that tried to keep walking. He's a Schipperke that she has brought for Lexa - without Lexa's consent - from her last travels, and it's a small ball of fur, with his pointed black ears and adorable cluelessness.

"What?" Anya asks. In cold days like this, the two long scars marking her cheeks are bright red. 

"I'm not sure," Lexa says, putting her hands deep into the pockets of her overcoat.

"Come on, let's go," Anya says tugging the leash to pull the puppy away from the bush he's been sniffing. "We need to get back home early if we want to get to the woods today."

Lexa nods and they start walking again. 

"Well, about that..." Lexa starts. 

"Really?" Anya says.

"I know, An. But we're so close. I got a new lead, and I'm sure this is the right one," Lexa says. 

"You said that on the last time, and the time before that, and... oh right, you always say that. Lexa, it has been four years, you're allowed to live, you know? If you are really that close, it won't make a difference if you take a one or two days break."

"Four years?" 

Lexa knows it has been four years. At least the part of her brain that knows how to interpret a calendar. But it doesn't feel like it. The days are all the same, a blur. Travels around the world, dark woods, dark alleyways and even darker buildings. And yet, she didn't find the apothecary. It's like he has vanished. Most likely hunted down. And she was told many times to leave it behind or, the classic, "Of course I know him. I found his body last night." But she can't.

"You're coming with me," Anya says with a definitive tone.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"You can try to make me stop," Anya says, and Lexa feels the breath disappear from her lungs. Anya notices the tension and puts a steady hand on her shoulder, and doesn't let it go even when Lexa tries to move away. "I'm sorry," Anya says. "I didn't mean it."

"It's not your fault," Lexa answers.

The guilt is still on both of their faces anyway. This is one of the many forbidden topics around Lexa. They don't talk about what happened. They ignore the small hints showing that Lexa's orders don't have the same effect on Anya anymore. And when Lexa sent Anya away to "see what she could discover alone," they pretended that Anya didn't have a choice. 

Somewhere deep down Lexa knows the truth but she can't think about it right now. Not until she finds the apothecary and fixes it. 

A few minutes later they arrive at the small, old building with a well-kept cream facade where is Lexa's apartment for the past weeks, and Anya picks up the puppy and pushes him to Lexa's chest. 

"It's yours," Anya says. The tiny dog twists and tries to fight his way out of their arms, and Lexa is forced to hold him. 

"I don't want it," Lexa says. 

"Too late for that now. Give him a name, and food. Real dog food, Lexa. Pedigree or something like that." 

"Dog food is awful," Lexa says with a frown.

"Not for him," Anya says. "I'll be back later. Just stay alive."

 

\---

 

The stubborn thing doesn't stop moving until Lexa leaves it on the ground inside the apartment. Then the dog starts running immediately, his fluff paws sliding on the wooden floor and bumping into everything. If he wasn't so small her apartment would be destroyed in seconds.

"Just don't-" Lexa tries to say after him- "Just don't break anything." 

She finds him eating the bathroom rug and decides that it isn't so bad, then closes the door to the bedroom and goes back to the living room, where the table is being used as her desk.

For the sophisticated apartment, the round table made of rough wood feels out of place. The surface is covered with books, maps, photographs, and blocks of paper. Lexa sits in front of the white notebook and starts working. 

She is already completely lost in thoughts when the puppy appears crying. The excitement of a new place gone. He probably just realized that Anya isn't there with them. Lexa ignores him until she feels tiny teeth biting her shoeless foot on the ground. She looks beneath the table.

"Really?" She says to the dog with his small mouth clenched on her foot. He looks back at her but doesn't let go. 

Lexa pushes him away and he's so light that he goes sliding across the floor. He's back on his feet in no time and tries to bark at her. Tries. The sound that comes out of his mouth is more like a hoarse, raspy cough. Lexa laughs. 

"This is the last time I'm going to ask you to stay away," she says and turns back to the screen. 

Many of her sources lead Lexa to this town near the border of the country. It's not a bad place to stay at all. It's not too small because it's the last stop on the road for travelers. It has bars and good restaurants, open-air markets that smell like all types of condiments, fresh vegetables, and honey. This town has a thing with milk and honey. And hot chocolate. Kids run and play freely on some streets. Even from her chair, she can hear the laughter coming from an alley between the buildings two blocks from the apartment. She can understand why someone would want to hide in this place.

And she also knows that if he is in that populated area is because he feels safe enough. Or he's selfish and doesn't care about the lives he's putting in danger for being here. She'll find him either way. 

So Lexa opens again the book, being careful with its thin, yellowish pages. Bound in black leather, cracked and dry with age, the thick volume smells like the cold stone of graves with overgrown grass. The spells were written on it by hand but she isn't reading the words. She's searching for the author. She's looking in the drops of ink on the edges. The firm lines of the drawings illustrating types of plants and gemstones. And even the shadow of pencil beneath it, forgotten from early drafts at some points. 

She turns the page until she finds the section based on honey. And, as every time she does it, Lexa smiles when she sees the recipe for a honey moonshine. It's not a spell, she's sure of it. It just seems to be something that the author liked. The same as the smiling bees that were drawn on some corners. And the pages and pages for nature studies.

When she uses her phone to take a picture of a drawing - a stream with large stones, and trees in the background -, Lexa realizes what time it is. Anya won't arrive in a few hours but she didn't prepare anything.

Lexa gets up fast, startling the dog that was sleeping on her feet, and grabs her overcoat and keys. And, yes, she's forced to bring the goddamn dog with her.

 

\---

 

Lexa is met with the after work traffic. She doesn't like the pungent odor of gas when more cars take over the streets but the breeze from the mountains is strong enough this night that is enjoyable to walk. 

When she stops near a bunch of teenagers waiting to cross the street, they start looking at her. Looking and not looking. Stealing glances with the corner of their eyes. Lexa first instinct is to look at the sky, searching for the moon, and finds only the empty dark blue sky looking back at her. She closes tighter her coat and pulls the leash, bringing the puppy closer to her range. This is when it dawns on her. They're not looking at her, but him. 

A wave of relief washes over her, and she follows them as the light turns green.

"So-" she looks at the dog trotting by her side- "this is how it's going to be, uh?"

First, she hears the laugh, then the kids running after each other in the alley. The shop doors are open wide, the lights coming from inside casting a golden glow on the sidewalk as Lexa walks through it. Everything is normal, then it is not. Again.

It's a feeling. It's a scent. It's a trail of something that makes the hair on the back of her neck rise.

She turns on her heels to both sides of the street. Some shops are closing. Others have their windows bright with light. Bell chimes as a boy open the door of a nearby bookstore. Cars go up and down the street with their headlights on. Nothing seems unusual. 

Lexa looks inside the shop. Scans the narrow aisles between the shelves. The cashier is talking to a brown brunette that is buying an obscene amount of alcohol. Lexa has seen her here before. It feels like any other Wednesday night. 

"Come on," she pulls the dog inside.

She doesn't brush off the unsettling feeling, no. This is how she survives. Lexa keeps an eye open as she fills her cart. With food for an entire army, considering that they won't be alone. But somewhere between the 7 packages of meat and the noodles, the feeling goes away just like it did earlier, and Lexa is left in peace to deal with the infinite aisle that seems to have every type of dog food on the planet. 

It smells awful.

"Well..." Lexa grabs the cord and looks down at the tiny animal that thought that sitting on her feet was the right place. "Choose," she orders.

He doesn't move. He keeps sitting there with his tongue falling out of his mouth as he breathes fast just because of the walk between her apartment and the store.

Lexa sighs and looks around, there's no one in the desert aisle she could ask. She decides to search for "puppy" written anywhere on the packages.

"Fish," someone says. 

Lexa turns around, finding a blonde white woman standing a few feets away, looking at her and the dog.

"Excuse me?" Lexa says.

"Fish," the woman repeats, taking a confident step ahead and grabbing a package from the shelf. "Schipperkes like fish." 

Lexa doesn't accept the package. She looks between it and the woman as if the blonde just insulted her entire bloodline. 

"I'm sorry," the woman says, hugging the package now completely self-aware. "I heard you... saw that you were kind of lost." 

Lexa didn't hear her coming. Lexa didn't see her coming. Lexa was pretty sure no one was in that aisle before.

"Do you work here? I never saw you before," Lexa asks.

"Nah, I just like dogs." She looks down at the dog, and by the glint in her eyes, it seems that she wants to pet him. 

Lexa pulls the leash to make him move away from the woman, passing the cord to the other hand as she pretends the reason for the movement was that she wanted to free her hand to finally accept the package. 

"Fish you say?" Lexa asks. 

"Yes." The woman smiles, giving her the package.

"It's not real fish, though."

"It's not. It probably tastes awful." The woman raises her eyebrows, looking at Lexa with a smirk, and then steps away. "Enjoy the party."

"Party?" Lexa asks.

The woman looks to Lexa's cart filled with tons of food. 

"Oh, this is just the monthly shopping," Lexa improvises casually as her years of experience have taught her. She puts the dog food inside that cart. "Thanks for the help." 

"You're welcome." The woman nods and disappears to the back of the story.

 

\---

 

"You bought dog food!" Anya says as they start unpacking after finding a good spot deep into the woods.

Lexa shoots a look at her. 

"Of course I bought," she says. 

"So he's officially one of yours," Anya says with a smug smile, then she takes in the amount of food inside Lexa's backpack. "And you packed extra food." 

They exchange a look. The night is pitch-black, and under the trees, only the light of the fire illuminates their faces. Anya doesn't need to see to understand, though. Anya always had this thing that she's able to look right through Lexa, even when she was shielding herself. She knows that Lexa is not happy with the "surprise."

Lexa cleans her throat, pulling up the sleeves of her overcoat. 

"I'm going to grab a trunk," Lexa says. "You can go ahead and start cooking." 

"Is that an order?" Anya raises her eyebrows. 

Lexa falters for a moment, then she clenches her jaw. She's not sure what Anya is trying to imply. She's not even sure of what the mischieve in her eyes is supposed to mean. It used to be easy to understand but now Lexa just feels empty.

"I'm going to grab a trunk," Lexa repeats, without even realizing she has said that before, and disappears into the woods. 

The cold, fresh embrace of the woods.

They walked far away from the city, walking beyond the trails to where the air is colder and the vegetation thicker. Deep into the forest where no hikers would dare to go alone on a moonless night like this. It took hours for them to get there walking. Lexa could've made it in minutes if she was alone. 

But even when she had the chance, during all the weeks she has spent in town, Lexa didn't go to the woods. Not these woods, or any other, in a really long time. 

And as she walks, for far more time than she needed to, Lexa can feel the muscles on her back melting, her lungs expanding with life. Lexa's favorite thing about the woods was always the peace. 

And today, she also feels the truth. Tugging inside her brain, blossoming like a flower. Not threatening but instead making itself present. Pure. Honest. 

Lexa missed it.

Anya was right. 

She's glad Anya was right and Lexa can't even lie about it right now. 

She also misses sitting by the fire, with everybody, watching the red flames dancing in the shadows and the glorious smell of fresh meat. So when she's ready, Lexa grabs the first thick trunk on her path and carries it on her shoulder back to the camp. 

 

\---

 

Anya talks about her travels while they eat. She spent the last months backpacking in Europe. She tells Lexa about all the people she has met. How it made her excited to go farther. 

"The entire world," she says. "And by the way, I saw Gustus in Istanbul, he says he misses you." 

"I know," Lexa says. And just by thinking about him, the image of a crowded bar fills her head until she pushes it off. "He's drinking," Lexa says. 

"I can imagine that," Anya says, bringing her own bottle to her lips. "And you?" 

"What?" 

"I talked about me, but how are you? What have you been doing?"

"You know," Lexa says. 

"No, I don't," Anya says. "You don't answer my emails. It took me weeks just to make you agree on this night." 

Lexa knows Anya talked to the others so she knows enough because they know. Lexa doesn't see the point of saying it out loud. 

"Are you going to eat that?" Lexa asks instead, pointing to the meat half-finished on Anya's dish. 

"No, you can have it," Anya hands her the dish.

"You barely ate," Lexa says but she accepts it anyway. 

"I'm not hungry," Anya says and Lexa snorts until she realizes that Anya isn't joking. 

"Oh."

"Yeah." Anya gets up, pulling the leash to wake up the puppy that has been sleeping on the ground. "I'll give you a second to think about it," she says.

Anya is already a few steps away when she stops and turn back. 

"Actually, I need to say something because you need to hear that out loud at least once. Everybody is tired, Lexa. It's time to wake up and accept that the attack happened, things are different now."

Lexa clenches her jaw. 

"An-"

"There's no cure for me-" Anya interrupts her- "And there's nothing you can do about that."

"You know this isn't true. If we find the apothecary, it can change everything."

"It already changed, Lexa."

Lexa is on her feet in no time, the movement is so violent that the puppy cries and tries to run away scared. Anya needs to harden her grip on the leash to hold him.

"Violence? This is how you are going to deal with it?" Anya stares back into her dark green eyes. "Are you going to push your feelings away?"

Lexa feels a shiver run through her body, her muscles changing, her skin prickling. She takes a step back, stepping into the fire but she doesn't notice it.

"Anya," Lexa tries to speak, her voice sounds hoarse, low. "Stop," she orders, but it has no effect. 

"You need to accept the truth," Anya says. "I'm not one of you, not anymore, and I never will be. But this is not your fault, are you listening to me? This is not your fault. You don't need to fix that." 

Anya grabs Lexa's shoulder and holds her firm despite the spasms. This proximity could kill anyone instantly. This will end up killing her. Lexa tries to move away but Anya doesn't let go. She stays with Lexa until she's breathing again. Until sweat is running down her forehead and Lexa is stumbling, her knees suddenly weak. Anya holds her and helps Lexa to lay down. 

Lexa looks dead. Her body spread on the grass, head resting against the trunk as she waits for her heart to slow down. Her face is pale, cold, and her overcoat is shredded. Anya starts by taking off her burned boots. 

"You don't need to do that," Lexa says, trying to push her off but still too weak. 

"You shouldn't have stopped," Anya says, ignoring her and continuing to take off her ruined clothes. Transforming takes a lot of energy. Stopping a transformation can kill you. Only a few, powerful alphas are able to do it.

"I could have killed you," Lexa says.

Anya stops for a moment. An alpha would never kill one of her wolves by accident, Lexa knows that.

"Could you?" Anya asks with her eyebrows raised. Again, poking Lexa with her words. Pushing her towards the truth. 

Lexa sighs and ignores it, trying to take off her own shirt to help but Anya pins her down until she can do nothing but rest. Which it isn't something hard to do. Every fiber in her body begs to be left alone. Lexa focuses on her breath, on the cold air filling her lungs, until gradually her strength starts to return.

"If you trust me that much you are naive," Lexa says after a while. 

It's a small step but it's something. Her way of recognizing that she knows that her connection with Anya was lost. 

Anya, who's sitting by her side now, takes a sip of her beer.

"The puppy ran away," Anya says. Her way of not pressuring Lexa anymore. 

"I know," Lexa says, adjusting her blanket and turning on the ground to find a more comfortable position and, as she does it, her hands brush on Anya's leg and she stops. "An?" Lexa calls.

"Yes?" 

Lexa takes a deep breath to prepare herself, she never had to use words before. The truth was always there, shared between them, present. Now there's nothing. It has been a long time since Lexa only feels the emptiness where Anya was supposed to be.

"How is it?" Lexa asks.

"Quite honestly? Peaceful," Anya says and she sees the flash of pain crossing Lexa's face. "It's not like that. I miss you. And it's different to adapt to this body, there's a lot of things I can't do anymore. Sometimes it's frustrating. But at the same time, it's a new life, my life. One that I never thought I'd live. And I kind of learned how to like who I am now. It may sound strange for you but I'm happy."

Lexa plays with the fabric of Anya's jeans as she hears her words. It takes some time to realize that the knot inside her chest is hurting. Lexa wasted so much time running away from the pain, pushing it to the moment that she would find the apothecary and fix all of this, that it's still there. But now she's allowing herself to feel. And it hurts like hell.

"I missed you," Lexa murmurs. And Anya strokes her hair, more messing with it than anything, and it still fills Lexa's heart with delight. She'd never admit that, though. 

"I know," Anya says. "And I know you wouldn't harm any of us. Not even now, Lexa."

 _Us_. Lexa likes the sound of it. Of an "us." It makes her body expand again, in a comfortable way, and she closes her eyes, resting. It feels like it has been an eternity since she rested like this.

 

\---

 

Lexa wakes up to a big light brown wolf walking out of the forest. She needs to force herself to open her eyes and sit up straight or she will fall asleep again. It's still too early, the first lights of the morning coming from the pale sky above barely reach the ground. Lexa is so slow that when she finally sits there's already a man standing there with them.

"Did someone ordered Fish?" Lincoln asks, holding the black puppy in his arms. 

"Fish?" Anya asks, looking between Lincoln and Lexa. 

"Isn't Fish his name?" Lincoln asks, looking at Lexa with his forehead creased. This is the downside of sharing your feelings and thoughts with other people - sometimes they know things about you before you even realized it. 

"Yes," Lexa simply answers, rubbing her eyes.

"Let me see if I understood," Anya says. "You are you telling me that you named the dog Fish." 

"He likes fish," Lexa says as if it explained everything.

"What? Since when?" 

"I don't know." Lexa shrugs. "Clarke told me that."

"Clarke..." Anya repeats. 

"Yes, she's-" Lexa stops. She rubs her eyes again and stands up, grabbing the spare clothes Anya has bought for her. "I don't know who she is." Lexa takes extra time dressing the hoodie to avoid her eyes. 

"You two need to start saying things out loud," Anya says, annoyed with the silence. 

Lincoln bites his lip and looks at Lexa, waiting for her approval. Lexa wonders what he would say because she doesn't know what's there to say about it, so she simply nods, making her intention clear - he's allowed to say anything to Anya. 

"Lexa met her yesterday," Lincoln says, sitting on the trunk near Anya. "She helped her with the dog food."

 

Anya looks between them, searching for all the unsaid words. 

"So... Lexa likes a new girl?" Anya asks. 

"What?" Lexa blurts out. 

"Yes," Lincoln answers. 

"No," Lexa says. "She was just... beautiful?" Lexa remembers the blonde hair and her knowing eyes. The way the woman smirked. Lincoln raises his eyebrows. "No," she repeats.

Lincoln laughs and leaves Fish on Anya's lap. Then he takes one of the dishes and grabs some of the food she cooked while Lexa slept.

"Okay, it's not a big deal," he says to Anya. "Lexa is just too gay. She couldn't resist naming her dog after a cute girl talked to her."

Lexa shoots him a look, and he knows it says "You remember that I can forbid you to talk for the rest of your life, right?" Before he can answer, Anya hands her a dish. 

"Okay, enough," Anya says. "And by the way, thanks for coming, Lincoln. Lexa is also pleased."

"He knows," Lexa says. "He wouldn't be here if I didn't want to."

"It doesn't hurt if you say it out loud too, Lexa," Anya says, then turns to Lincoln. "How's Octavia?" 

Lexa sits with them to eat and hears Lincoln tell Anya everything that she already knows. Octavia is in India hunting werewolf hunters, a career that she started after meeting him. 

Four years ago Lincoln fell for this reckless human that lived above a library with her nerd brother. That wasn't just a regular library, though. It's one of the many supernatural secret places hidden in plain view. Lexa started her search for the apothecary there, and Lincoln never left.

Legends say that once a werewolf finds their true partner, they're mated for life. This is the strongest bond a werewolf can have, even above an alpha, if you're lucky enough to find yours. Soulbounded is what they call it. Lexa didn't believe it was real until Lincoln found Octavia. 

Now, as he talks about her, Lexa can feel the adoration with her own heart. Lexa herself met Octavia twice in her life but she would fight hell to protect the girl. And she only feels a fraction of what Lincoln actually feels. 

Right now, she knows that Lincoln is happy. And she can see that Anya is happy too. So Lexa is happy.

 

\---

 

Clarke.

This is the first thing on Lexa's mind when she takes Fish for a walk, leaving Lincoln and Anya to catch up. Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.

The name feels strange, and it somehow describes her well. 

"Clarke," Lexa tries it out loud, and looks at the puppy walking by her side, "What do you think?" 

Fish doesn't answer. He's biting his leash and Lexa kneels by his side. It's the first time that she genuinely pays attention to him. She caresses his small head and runs her fingers through his smooth fur. In retribution, he turns and licks her hand, then stands on his back paws to reach up to her. Lexa laughs. 

"Okay..." she says, and there's adoration in her forest green eyes. "Are you going to behave, right?" She takes off his leash. 

And Fish runs away immediately. 

"Of course not." Lexa sighs.

She lets him run, waste all his energy, and when she hears his tired breath, it's her time to run. Even in her human form, she's incredibly fast. And the clothes Anya gave her - a large jeans pants and a black hoodie - are comfortable enough to free her movements. She finds him in no time. 

Fish is drinking the water of a stream. Lexa puts the leash again while he does it. She doesn't like to see him with this but they'll have to train more before he can run freely. The forest isn't that safe for puppies. 

When she gets up, her eyes catch sight of where she is. A small stream running through the woods, large stones covered with moss are spread along its path. Lexa finds in her phone the picture she took of the drawing made by the apothecary and compares to where she is. It is the place.

She knows it's a generic landscape that could be anywhere but the energy buzzing through her veins says otherwise. She starts walking faster, following the flow of the stream and paying attention to every gray surface on her way until she finds it. 

Lexa holds her phone up and compares the drawing with the reality. 

"It's here," Lexa says to the dog. "The apothecary was here." 

She looks down just in time to see Fish, who was walking over a stone, reach its edge and splash into the water because, apparently, the puppy didn't know he was supposed to stop. Lexa rolls her eyes and helps him out. 

As she sits on a stone and plays with him, Lexa thinks about what she is supposed to do now. She spent the last four years of her life searching for the apothecary that could, maybe, know how to cure Anya. She didn't think about anything else during this time. She's not even sure if she remembers what she did before that. Maybe she could unite the others again. Maybe...

Maybe she could just keep searching.

This is when she smells it. Something different, a new scent being carried by the light breeze. It causes the same spike of energy the brings all her senses to life. 

Lexa pulls Fish to her lap and scans the trees around her. Soon she can hear the fast steps cutting through the woods, Lexa see flashes of snow and white paws leaving marks on it, and then she's back to the real world, seeing a blonde hair coming out of the trees. 

Clarke stops when she sees them.

Her presence makes all the tension disappear. There's nothing, nothing else, hiding in the dark trees. It was just Clarke. 

"So we meet again," Lexa says, releasing the puppy. Fish promptly runs to Clarke. Lexa thinks he'd be a really awful guard dog.

"It seems so." Clarke knees and receives him with open arms. 

Lexa watches as Clarke plays with him. The scent was definitely hers. It's honey, and sweat, and something else that not even Lexa can pinpoint. She doesn't like to focus on other's people smell because it's inappropriate. She's a werewolf but she has values.

"Are you following me?" Lexa asks when Clarke stands up again. 

"Maybe I am," Clarke says, walking towards her. "I could be in bed right now but then I thought: and If I wake up early and spent all morning searching for her? It'll be far better." 

Clarke stops in front of Lexa, the smile on her lips reaches her blue eyes. Her cheeks are still red from her walk, and Lexa can hear her accelerated heartbeat. Lexa stands up to meet her eye to eye. 

"Hi," Lexa says, looking at her as if they just met. 

"Hi," Clarke says back. "Nice hoodie. I like you better this way."

"Really?"

"Natural." Clarke smiles. 

It's a smile that makes Lexa feel warm. Lexa bites her lip trying not to think about all the ways she'd like Clarke better. Maybe Lincoln was right, maybe even Anya was right - Clarke is a gorgeous woman and Lexa is into her. It won't hurt if she takes some time for herself. 

"Isn't it a little bit early to be this far from town?" Lexa says in a playful tone.

"What can I say? Sometimes I make some bad choices and they end up having really good consequences." 

"Like what?"

"Like seeing this woman that has been on my mind since I saw her yesterday." 

"I was talking about the bad choice."

"Maybe I could show you one right now," Clarke says, looking at her lips. 

For more than Lexa wants to lean on and make her own bad choices, she roots herself and puts her hands deep into her pockets.

"You're avoiding answering my real question, Clarke."

"I am." 

Clarke smiles. It's a smile that is fully aware of what she's doing, and that Lexa knows this. It's unashamed. Even proud. Lexa feels disarmed. The worst part is that the stupid part of her brain is enjoying it. Lexa can't stop herself from smiling back. 

So they smile at each other, they smile for a really long time and it isn't awkward. They scan each other with curious eyes. Lexa pays attention to the shape of her nose, slightly upturned. Her purple hoodie. And her vibrant presence there, close enough that they can touch. When their eyes meet again, the playfulness disappeared from Clarke's eyes. There's something different there now. Almost like she's scared. 

"Why do you keep appearing?" Clarke murmurs. 

Lexa realizes that Clarke wasn't joking about being into her, and she feels an entirely new kind of energy running through her body. 

Then she's not in the forest anymore. There are bookshelves and a table. Clothes are forgotten on the ground. The world is moving in slow motion. Lexa is thinking about Lincoln and not thinking about him. Indra appears out of nowhere, she's on a boat. Lexa doesn't really want to think about this right now but she can't stop. She sees Lincoln, then Anya. And a "Are you serious? Now?" The world twists. She sees a blur of forest and something else.

"Lexa, Lexa, are you hearing me?" 

Lexa comes back to the real world and finds Clarke holding her arms. 

"Are you okay?" Clarke asks. "You just zoned out." 

Lexa shakes her head and steps out of Clarke's reach. 

"I'm sorry, I just remembered that my friend is waiting for me," Lexa says, and she sees the disappointment in Clarke's eyes. "He's a man," Lexa says quickly. "I mean, a man friend." 

Clarke laughs, the sound makes Lexa relax about what just happened.

"Okay, then." Clarke kneels and says goodbye to Fish too.

Lexa is already a few steps away when she hears her name.

"Lexa?" Clarke calls.

"Yes?"

"When did you tell me your name?"

"Hm?" 

"Your name. It's Lexa, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Lexa Woods."

"Yes..."

"When did you tell me it?"

"When we met, right? You helped me with F... the dog." 

Clarke smiles and nods.

"Just checking." 

 

\---

 

Lincoln is already gone when Lexa arrives. Anya is sitting alone over the already packed backpack and eating noodles.

"What happened?" Lexa asks before anything, putting down the dog that she carried on her way there.

"I thought you could know everything," Anya answers but seeing the anxiety in Lexa's eyes, she continues, "Nothing, Lexa. He just decided to get home early. He said that you met that blonde woman and we assumed that you would be there forever."

"And he left you alone?"

"I'll stop you right there. I taught you how to fight, Lexa."

Anya has a point. 

"Okay." Lexa sighs. There's just something that doesn't feel right. "I don't know, I felt something different... My memories were blurred for a moment. I saw the others." 

"You're probably still tired, Lexa. Lincoln was talking to Indra and maybe your thoughts mixed up a little." 

Lexa looks at Anya's indifferent expression as she eats the rest of the noodles. Lexa still isn't sure and she hates that now looking at Anya is just the same as facing a blank wall but one thing is certain: if something bad was happening, Anya would tell her. Besides that, as always, Anya is right. It takes days to recover after stopping a transformation.

"I'm thinking about staying for a few more day," Anya announces, grabbing the backpack and throwing it to Lexa. "Just to... in case, you know. But sleeping on a bed. If you're going to be a stubborn asshole and not enjoy the forest, this is your problem. I want a pillow."

"I can carry you if you're tired."

"And I can punch you if you try."

They look at each and smile. 

Lexa doesn't say anything else. She wasn't prepared for having company but she can't say she won't enjoy it.

 

\---

 

The snow goes for miles ahead and, yet, it doesn't seem enough distance. Blood, bright red against the white, spreads on the ground. One body, two, three. More shots fire. Voices. The snow is endless. And then, there's only emptiness. 

Until there's not. 

And there's you.

And a phone ringing. 

The phone rings and rings and rings and then it rings as a dog barks and Lexa grunts as she gives up sleeping. 

"Hello?" she answers. 

"Ms. Woods?"

"Yes."

"Hi, Ms. Woods, I'm calling to confirm your tour today with the Honey Witches."

Lexa covers her face with her free hand. She completely forgot about that. After she arrived with Anya on Thursday, besides going out with her one or two times, she basically just stayed on her bed. It was a much-needed recover filled with strange dreams about wolves, books and, yes, a certain blonde girl. Lexa purposely avoided the table in the living room and everything that it could mean. 

"Hello?" The man says. 

"Okay, it's alright. I'll be there."

"Great, we'll be waiting for you!"

Lexa puts the phone away without bothering to say goodbye. She turns in the bed and tries to hide beneath the blanket. She can hear Fish scratching the door, though. And she doesn't remember if she gave him food yesterday when she arrived late after having dinner with Anya.

"Okay, I'm coming," she says to the dog and, with a sigh, Lexa starts her day.

 

\---

Honey Witches is a rustic store in the old part of the town that everybody claims that has the best honey in the area. They schedule tours and Lexa hoped that it'd give her any clue about the apothecary. Now she isn't sure anymore. 

Lexa plays with the corner of her notebook, where the address is written and looks up to the sign above the store. She's early so she decides to walk down the street paved with cobblestone, enjoying the warm feeling of the area. This part looks more like a medieval village than a modern city. Instead of buildings, there are small constructions made of gray stone, with heavy wooden doors, that are opened to the sidewalk, where products are displayed outside.

Earlier she tried to bring Anya to the tour. Afterall, it was an option as good as any other for someone visiting the city. 

She was wrong.

She was so wrong.

"Fuck you," Anya said from the other side of the door after closing it. 

"Come on, An."

"Lexa, do you know what time is it?"

Lexa checked her phone.

"9 AM."

"Exactly."

Lexa kept trying to convince her until she realized that she could hear Anya calm breath on the bed, already far gone.

Lexa didn't have anywhere else to go. There's nothing in her apartment besides Fish and her research. And she may or may not be wearing the black hoodie again in the hopes of meeting a certain someone. So she takes her time walking down the street in the middle of the morning crowd. 

She sees a small cafe near the corner and something changes inside her heart. It's a small feeling, like a wave of recognition. One moment she's standing on the sidewalk looking at the tables through the wide glass windows, the other she's sitting there. Enjoying hot chocolate and a book. But it isn't her, and it isn't real. She shakes her head and starts walking back to the Honey Witches. 

Except that the feeling doesn't go away. It grows. It becomes excitement and urgency. That strange shiver on the back of her neck reappears. 

The feeling.

The sense that something changed in the air.

She looks around quickly, trying to understand what is causing it. It's the third time that she feels it. This isn't normal. Lexa starts walking fast as if she could run away from it. 

"Lincoln?" She calls inside her mind. "I need you to check something in the library for me." She doesn't need to explain what she wants to because he can feel what she's feeling. 

"Hm, Lexa, about that..." Lincoln doesn't finish the sentence, and Lexa can't feel or know what he's thinking about. He's blocking her. She could force him to open up but she makes a point of not abusing her power. 

"What?" Lexa asks. 

This is when she sees herself turning into a dark alley between two stores. One alley that wasn't there before. The path ahead barely is wide enough for one person and ends on a door. The sign above it reads, "Arkadia." 

"I'm sorry, Anya asked me to not say anything." His words float on her mind as she stares at the door. "She says you'll figure it out by yourself."

Lexa is sure. She doesn't need to open the door to know what is on the other side. She knows. She feels like she spent all her life searching for it and she's finally here. 

"Tell her I found him," it's the last thing she says to Lincoln.

 

\---

 

She's met with a dark store, the size of a shoebox. Most of the space is taken by shelves, made of dark brown wood, stuffed with all sorts of exotic objects. Not just any objects, things she recognizes from her world. But what catches her eyes is the woman behind the counter.

"Clarke," Lexa says. It feels weird that she's here, and right.

"Are you following me?" Clarke asks, leaning on casually and covering the book she was reading with her arms. She'd get away with it if Lexa didn't have trained eyes. 

"Maybe," Lexa answers, taking a step ahead and trying to look at it. "What would happen if I was?"

"You'd get my number."

Clarke reaches for a pen as she closes the book. It happens fast but she sees it - an unmistakable drawing of two werewolves dancing. Lexa's heart now is collapsing. Lexa looks around, to where she is, to the dragon fang at the top shelf and the demon's fire warming a pot behind Clarke. 

"Here," Clarke gives the piece of paper with her number to Lexa.

Lexa can't believe that she'd have a crush on one of the few people in the town that knows that werewolves exist. 

Maybe magic people do find magic people. 

"Thank you." Lexa puts the paper inside her pocket. That's when she feels her own notebook. "But if I'm being honest, this is not why I'm here."

Clarke's eyes light up with surprise, her hand goes straight to the book and Lexa wonders if she noticed it. 

"No?" Clarke asks.

Lexa shakes her head. 

"I'm here for the apothecary," she says. "Is he here?"

"No," Clarke answers. 

Lexa gives her a dark look. She likes Clarke but not even her will stop Lexa from getting what she wants.

"Can we just cut this part off? I've been looking for-"

"There's no he," Clarke interrupts her, "I am the apothecary."

"No..." Lexa searches on her notes. "Jake Griffin."

Clarke rolls her eyes.

"Yes, I know my dad. He's not the apothecary. People just assume he is because- I don't know, sexism. My mom was the one who wrote most of the things, and now I'm in charge."

"You are the apothecary?"

"That was what I just said." Clarke smiles. 

"So you can... help me?"

"I hope."

"You are the apothecary?" Lexa repeats. She can't believe. Not that she doesn't believe that Clarke could be an apothecary but that she's talking to the apothecary.

"Yes," Clarke answers, laughing.

"I've been searching for you for so long."

"Wait, you are the one?" Clarke asks, connecting it to the rumors she heard. "Of course you are."

"You are hard to find."

"It's not safe for werewolves out there anymore," Clarke says.

There's this moment where Lexa makes sense of the words. Flashes of snow come back, a big white wolf running, blood. When Lexa speaks again, the words carry a far deeper meaning. 

"I know," she says.

Lexa grew up hiding, running away. And all this precaution still wasn't enough. The hunters found them. And somehow Clarke seem to be able to read all of that in her eyes too. 

"We learn how to be invisible," Clarke says.

"And silent," Lexa completes.

"And alone," Clarke says. 

Lexa feels it. Feel the loneliness, the sting in her chest. But it isn't her own pain that she's feeling right now.

"You have a stray," Clarke says, watching Lexa.

"Her name is Anya."

Clarke nods and opens the book she was reading again, searching for a page. 

"You're not the first to ask me this," Clarke says.

"And...?"

"The question is not if I can do it but if it should be done."

"What do you mean?"

"Is she the one that wants it?"

Lexa is silent. She's silent because she knows the answer. She sees it in Clarke's eyes. 

"Hey, it's okay," Clarke says. She reaches across the counter and grabs the front of Lexa's hoodie, pulling it. It's a small, playful thing that ends as fast as it starts, and yet Lexa feels her entire body warming. 

Lexa grabs her hand, bringing it back to the hoodie. 

"How did you deal with it?" Lexa asks. All by yourself, she thinks, and Clarke understands it. 

"At first it was hard. I barely escaped the attack. I had to learn how to blend in, how to rebuild our business." Clarke plays with her zipper. 

"But how it felt?"

Empty. There was nothing to feel. Nothing to hear. Nothing. 

"I was too drunk to remember," Clarke says, and Lexa smiles. Clarke surprises them both by kissing her smile. "I'm sorry," she says.

But it's kind of too late for that. Lexa is already leaning on, making their noses touch. She wants to grab Clarke's hand and never let go. She wants more than to feel her warm breath. When their eyes meet, Lexa sees flashes of snow. And sky. And an entirely new type of world.

She kisses Clarke because this is what she was made for. She feels her lips, the gasp that comes out of her mouth. The way her hands travels to Lexa's collar and she's pulled closer. Lexa wants to be close. Lexa pushes everything out of the counter, it makes a loud noise when it hits the floor. Clarke moves away. 

"No," comes out of Lexa's mouth when she wants to say "I'm sorry," but she's not sorry. Lexa wants to kiss her again.

In her own confusion, Lexa ends up surprised when Clarke climbs on the counter and passes her legs over it so she's sitting in front of her. Lexa doesn't waste time finding her place between Clarke's legs. They kiss again. This time is rushed, eager. Lexa wants to feel the contact of her body, to feel that she's here. This is what makes her chest warm. And Clarke's lips on her neck, her tongue, her hands running underneath her hoodie. It feels like something out of this world. 

And it is.

Lexa sees it as if it was her own memories. Clarke's mother sitting on a chair writing with a quill pen, when her husband arrives. She sees 6-years-old Clarke jumping in a puddle. And a teenager wolf running down a hill for the first time under a moonlight. She feels the pain and the taste of first kisses. The pages of a book, the same book that now is on the floor covered with clothes as Lexa's mouth finds its way on Clarke's warm skin. The word "soulbounded" is written at the top, as a drawing shows werewolves dancing around each other. 

Lexa sees a crowded street in the morning and a strange pull. She sees herself standing on a sidewalk with Anya and a puppy. She feels her heart change.

**Author's Note:**

> a little last hour thing for Clexa Halloween Week!
> 
> It's based on elphnow's aesthetic http://elphnow.tumblr.com/post/166812584176/clexa-halloween-week-october-26th-thursday


End file.
